So, days keep passing and I don’t know where they go. I watch the clock all day long (timing feedings and naps) and I just watch time slip by. Within the past few days I have learned a few sad, but true facts about myself:
1. I have become partial to stretchy clothes.
2. I don’t shower every day, do my hair or put on makeup … and deodorant is for sissies.
3. A piece of toast is an acceptable and fortifying breakfast.
4. I don’t walk outside of these 1000 square feet of my house – therefore, my boys don’t either – therefore we all watch entirely too much HGTV and Food Network these days.
5. I have dreams about fearlessly going number 2 on the potty.
6. Every time I think, “OK, everything is OK, I got this whole infant and three kids thing down!” I remember that there are friends still bringing food to my house, I am not actually accomplishing anything except for keeping bums dry and clean and I have not left my house in 4 days … then I think, “I do not ‘got this'”.
Things are not bad, in fact, they are good. Ray is doing well, I am healing up, and the boys play a lot of legos and happily watch movies, HGTV and Food network (thank heavens they are into building and cooking).
Another thing I like? Ray sleeps at night. Not all the way through, but he only gets up twice during the night and Daniel helps. We have a good little routine going on at night – Daniel gets up when Ray starts grunting (by the way, this kid is pretty good – he hardly ever cries, just grunts to show his discomfort or displeasure with any given situation) and then Daniel changes his diaper and hands him to me. I take Ray and feed and burp him, then Daniel puts him back to bed.
Another thing I like? ….. my Daniel Cakes. ahhhhhhhh. He is heaven. I miss him everyday and wish he were near me. He is soothing and loving and tells me I’m beautiful, even with facts numbers 1 and 2 staring him in the face.
I do feel like I’m missing out on my favorite part of the year: summertime. I long to make trips to Ann Arbor and go to the Farmer’s Market. I want to do outside activities with the boys and take trips to our closest beach. I want to go to Home Depot and get some PVC pipe and make a kid car wash with my boys, so they have something cool to play with this summer in the backyard. But that is a little on hold right now. Baby Ray is too little to take out and about and truthfully, if I did all those things, I think it would be too much for me too, but I like to think about it anyway. Anyway, those are the facts these days.