Everything that happens in the bathroom has changed now: shaving my bikini line has become total guesswork, wiping is strenuous, shaving my legs has happened a lot less and the sheer number of times I find myself on the toilet has gotten ridiculous. really. ridiculous. I will go potty and feel like I’ve emptied my bladder, then 3 minutes later feel the urge to go again and 5 minutes later, again. I should stop drinking water altogether. Yes, that’s the answer. No more liquids for me.
I have started my regiment of Red Raspberry Leaf tea everyday and evening primrose oil caplets 3 times a day and some homeopathic remedies as well to get my cervix to soften.
I have started using the word “cervix” in normal conversation with friends and others.
I pretty much talk about or think about labor and delivery every day. People cannot see me anywhere without discussing my due date.
I groan every time I move, not on purpose, just involuntarily. Sometimes that’s embaressing.
I am wildly adding all sorts of projects to my “list of things to do before the baby comes”. I am truly torn between two feelings on “things to do” lately:
1. Should I sit back and relax and enjoy the last few weeks of no infant nursing and waking up all night long? or 2. Should I hurry and cram in as many things as I can – projects, trips, play dates before the baby comes and I am homebound for months?
I can’t decide.
I have an overwhelming worry that I haven’t prepared enough. I should read more about labor and delivery in my Bradley book and I should read up on the latest immunizations and I should buy a freakin car seat already because ours expired and I threw it out and I should get wet wipes … is it too soon to buy wet wipes? And I should pack my bags for the hospital, but will my fig newton treats last for three weeks? … it’s overwhleming, really.
Also, I don’t think I will have this baby in 3 weeks. I counted out 40 weeks from conception and came up with a due date of June 15th, but the due date my midwife gave me was June 1st. I am measuring at 35 weeks right now, so I am dead on for my due date, which means I probably have more than 3 weeks to go. Who knows if it will be 4 or 5 …. or more …. or less. Man, this last month is a doosey.
I really believe that the only reason you are pregnant for 9 months instead of 8 is an act of God. He knows you would only be willing to go through the pain of labor and delivery if you had already gone through the 9th month where you were so uncomfortable and antsy, you would do anything to get the baby out. I’m there now.
Good news: the baby’s head is down and he is in the right position, he kicks and moves a lot (so I know he’s alive and well), we have a name and the nursery is finished.
As much as I worry and whine, I have had a different experience with this little guy. I am more grateful and more aware of the miracle that is happening. I am also terrified that something will go wrong still. Time feels like it’s going too slow, but as soon as it feels like it’s speeding up toward delivery I think, “I’m not ready for this! Slow down! How did 9 months come and go so fast??” I am crazy these days.
Ready or not, we’re closing in on a due date.