Last night I was holding Ray. Daniel had been holding him for a while and he seemed fussy, so I took him to see if he wanted to eat, but before he started nursing, I just talked to him for a few minutes. It was a beautiful little moment. He looked for my face and seemed fixated on me and my voice. He smiled and made cute little baby noises and I know it doesn’t sound like a “moment” or anything special, it just was. Had to be there … and you just had to be me. It was like he really saw me and knew me and loved me. After a minute I told Daniel to get the camera. The camera, of course, does not capture what it was really like, but it was glorious. It was like heaven smiling at me. Really. I know it all sounds cheesy and like maybe I haven’t been sleeping enough lately (which I haven’t) and I know what it sounds like to hear mommies say, “he was talking to me!” even though their kid is basically a worm … but really. He saw me and he knew me and he loved me – for a few minutes last night.

A friend of mine snapped this shot of my boys and a few of the Ordaz boys sitting together at the baptism we went to on Saturday. My favorite part? Alejandro has his arm around Noah’s shoulders. These boys just love each other and it’s so sweet.

We went on our first outing as a family of FIVE on Saturday. It was a baptism for a little girl in our ward. She asked Daniel to baptize and confirm her and for me to lead the music.

Randomly, Ray fell asleep about 15 minutes before we left and stayed asleep for the entire baptism, so he just sat asleep in his carseat in the stroller. It was awesome! But that was pure luck. We’ll see how it goes in the future. The fourth of July is coming up and we’re going to some fireworks …. we’ll see what happens.

It is continually a learning experience to be a mommy of three kids. It reveals all sorts of things. I have been watching lots of home inprovement shows and we’ve hosted a few grandmas over the past month and this is what I’ve learned – I live in a sub-par home. It is small, the one bathroom is glaringly not enough, all of our floors need to be replaced, carpet is unacceptably dirty, the central air conditioning doesn’t work well, our fridge is too small, and the kitchen just flat out needs to be replaced – completely … down to the studs kind of replacement.

Maybe we’ve just gotten used to a few inconveniences, like not running the dishwasher or washing machine or using hot water in the bathroom while someone is showering … or how I just adjust all cooking times to make up for the fact that my oven is from the 50’s and doesn’t cook like it should … but when you have people in your home, living with you, those things come to light And the home improvement shows are definitely not helping. It makes me feel like I just need to grab a sledge hammer and start knocking things down and out. But that would be bad because I could not replace or fix the things I sledged.

Anyway, I should be posting more pictures of Ray, but I haven’t taken any. I will next time. But here’s the update …

Ray has been pretty uncomfortable – lots of gas, and grunting and whining, with a little crying mixed in. He’s not sleeping or eating very well over the last 24 hours, so Daniel is sick and I am tired. That’s what happens when Ray is uncomfortable. We pay for it. Other than that – there’s nothing else going on. seriously. nothing. All we do is hold Ray, burp Ray, feed Ray, try to put him to sleep and fail, so not much else is happening. Not much cleaning or laundry is getting done, but we are all fed and the boys don’t seem to care about the fact that we’re not leaving the house. OK, Ray is crying, gotta go.