I am one of those people. I make lists. All the time. About everything. I make daily lists, wish lists, food lists, shopping lists. And my house is covered in chalkboards and magnetic pads of paper that I can write all of these endless lists on.
I recently started thinking about all of these things I write on my lists. I can never really complete a list and I constantly feel like I’m failing. So what are all of these things I feel like I should be doing. Well here it is … in list form
This is the stuff I HAVE to do, whether I like to or not, these are daily HAVE-TOS:
1. make breakfast, lunch and dinner for me and my family.
2. take my kids to school and help them with their homework.
3. change diapers.
4. eventually do laundry
5. spend time with Daniel (this is required … for self-preservation)
OK, now here’s the stuff I feel like I SHOULD do DAILY and I feel guilty or like a failure when I don’t do them:
3. eat healthfully (different than just eating …)
4. practice singing
5. keep my house clean (this varies from day to day as to what specifically I need to do)
6. remind and help Noah practice piano
7. get the boys to do their chores
Then there’s the stuff I WANT to do DAILY and I feel like I SHOULD be able to do … along with all the rest:
1. check my email/texts and respond
2. water my plants and care for the yard – not a daily thing, but at least 2-3 times a week
3. plan activities and parties
4. spend time with family
5. decorate my house (and re-decorate over and over again for each holiday)
6. blog/journal – not a daily thing, but maybe once a week?
When I sit down and write it out, it feels pretty overwhelming. And this happens everyday. Forget about the other stuff like Costco shopping, doctor’s appointments, deep cleaning (and by deep cleaning, I mean vacuuming), working with Noah on cub scouts, doing things for my calling at church, having the missionaries over, planning and doing FHE, and getting our landlord to fix the garage door. Or what about making memories with my kids? Going for bike rides in the afternoon after homework is done. Or working on my blog books so I can print them out and have some sort of family history down in black and white. And then there’s always the truly frivolous stuff like looking at fashion online, or shopping for a new pair of jeans or painting my toe nails.
This is where I’m at right now. I’m sure in ten years the list will change, not necessarily get longer or shorter, I am sure I will be busy with stuff all the time. And then I think, why am I like that? Are there people out there who don’t live like this? Who don’t need to fill their days? What would it feel like to meander through my life in a casual way? Would things fall apart? Maybe my kids would love me more and I’m sure my house would be much messier but would that be the end of the world? …. yes. it would. I would hate it if my house were a mess. Daniel hates it too, when it’s messy. sigh.
Well, time’s up. It’s 1 pm and I haven’t showered and that’s at the top of my 2nd list. pretty needful. Daniel and I were driving home from somewhere the other day and he said, “Does it seem like this year is going by fast?” yes. I feel like time is in hyper drive. Daniel and I are 33 and 34 and life is whizzing past. How can I get off this crazy merry go round and enjoy this before it blurs past me?