blissfully unaware

I will have pictures tomorrow. After Halloween night. But I’ve been doing and thinking stuff, so I’m gonna take a minute and write it down.

There was a little thing called “hurricane Sandy” that has been blowing people’s lives to bits and I was so in my own little world, it didn’t phase us around here. People have died, and homes have been ruined and Liz has been without power and alone in her house with howling winds and wild weather and I …. bought a juicer at Costco. It’s sad but true that I am completely blissfully unaware of the world around me right now.

I don’t know when it happens, when your new baby life turns into real life, but I guess I’m not there yet. I always think I’m there, but then I miss a hurricane and think, “hmmmm, I must not be back yet”. Back to real life, where I worry and think about other human beings and really start getting dressed for the day – not just taking showers and then getting right back into sweats. Someday it will happen. But I am in no rush for right now, because I am trying to just soak it up. My baby time with little Ray.

I was talking to my friend, Mandee, about a month after Ray was born and I was telling her happily that I was getting back to normal and trying to get out and about and do stuff. She sounded dismayed and told me I shouldn’t be trying to get back to life so soon. She said Ray will only be a baby for such a small moment in time. She told me to soak it up. Sit and talk to him. Rock him for a long time. Hold him and cherish this time.

She was right.

So for the past few days, while hurricane Sandy has been ruining everything. I have been taking care of a sick little Ray. He got a cold and has a runny nose and I have holed up, not gone anywhere and just tried to soothe his little, sad self. Infants look so completely pitiful when they’re sick. Ray sneezes and whines and drools and looks at me like, “what happened? Why am I so miserable?”

Two nights ago was the worst for him. He is generally on a good little sleep schedule these days and doesn’t have a hard time going to sleep. As long as we put him in his crib, at the right time, with a blanket to rub softly against his little sucking lips – he does great. But two nights ago – he was not having it. So I sat in the recliner and rocked him for a half hour, until he fell asleep in my arms. It was sweet. With every rock forward I got a whiff of his little head. He smells like milk. Sweet milk. And I looked down at his face as he let sleep overtake him. It was so peaceful to watch.

Also, for the past few days I’ve been worried about his weight gain. I think my milk supply is waning and he isn’t gaining like he should be, so I’ve been trying to up my milk production by nursing more. It’s not really working. So a few days ago, we introduced Ray to his first food: bananas. And although it took him two days – he finished off the baby jar :)

I’ve not only been concerned about Rays weight gain, I’ve been dismayed at my weight loss …. I’m actually not losing anything. Somehow I am feeding him and he’s not gaining and I’m staying the same. What the heck. Anyway, I recently read a blog post here about juicing. So Daniel and I decided our early Christmas gift to ourselves would be a juicer. So off I went to Costco on Monday and bought the Jack LaLanne juicer for $89. So far, I love it.

And now – the basement. While Ray has been sleeping off his illness during the days I am trapped at home. In a good way. And I finally got the gumption to do the final clean up from our Halloween party. I decided that if I was going to be putting everything back, I might as well make it more organized than it was before and very functional. No extra toys lying around to make a needless mess. I was only putting back the toys the boys actually played with. So, the fort was left in storage, the trains were left in plastic bins and the PotteryBarn kitchen was stored away (by the way – the kitchen is my favorite kid toy we own. I will definately be saving it for when Ray gets older and into cooking like both my other boys did). The only stuff I left out was the computer desk, legos, the art desk, the chalkboard, the dress ups and a few other bins of toys. It felt liberating. seriously. But then again, I am kind of a weird-o about organizing. I get a high from it. I can’t really throw the other toys out, because Ray will need something as he gets older and goes through the phases my older two have left behind, but it feels good to have them stored away and a simpler, cleaner area downstairs.

So that’s what’s up. Hurricane Sandy came and went and we took care of sick Ray, juiced kale and cleaned the basement. Now it’s time for Halloween and that means my birthday is right around the corner :)

The Annual Halloween Party – 2012 edition

I wasn’t going to do it this year. I told myself how much work it was and how I didn’t have the time or money to do it and I gave it a good go to convince myself it wasn’t worth it. Just one year, just skip it. But I couldn’t. I started talking to my sisters who were planning theirs and starting thinking about themes …. What sealed the deal? When Mandee’s husband, Arturo (a real introvert) told Mandee that it wasn’t Haloween without the Forsyth Halloween Party and that he was just about to start thinking about his costume …. had to do it.

So this year’s theme was: a witch’s cottage. More specifically, Witch Hazel’s Cottage (get it? …witch hazel?) Anyway, I had a budget of $50, so I had to make everything from stuff in my backyard, borrow stuff, use stuff from previous years’ Halloween parties and then I didn’t do food. I had everyone bring a treat or snack to share. The invites were cheap. I just printed them out on white cardstock I already had and then painted them with Postum water to make them old and wrinkly looking. The rest I made or had Leslie draw :)

I really threw the whole party together in about a week. Sunday night, 6 days before the party, I had Daniel help me clear the basement of furniture and the rest of the week I would do a little each day. And it was awesome. Soooooooo much fun. Really worth it :)

We only played a few games – “I’ve never” and “Adam’s Family”, those are my faves anyway. It came out during the evening that Shane has been arrested for streaking, Bobby dressed in drag, Bobby also tried to kiss Shane, I have an extra appendage, Senta would be the most fun person to go water skiing with, Arturo was baptized when he was 8 and Andrew speaks …. english? britain? british? … anyway, total blast. Loved it.

Bobby and Leslie won for the second year in a row – Best Costume, but they also won funniest too. Senta and Daniel won Scariest. And here are the pictures:

People entered from our back door.

And down the stairs …. into our basement.

This was at the bottom of the stairs and to the left. The stumps I got from a neighbor that was chopping down their tree, the pictures Leslie drew (Uncle Vexadus and Aunt Alphaba), the chandelier was made from battery-operated candles and grapevine wreaths and branches.

Then this was to the right:

I took some pictures with the lights on to catch the details. I got the bottle labels from my sister, Aria, but she said she just google imaged them. The shelving was made from boards I painted and some rope hanging from eye bolts screwed into the ceiling. That’s the beauty of doing this in the basement, you can screw things into the ceiling :)

I filled the bottles with highlighter fluid, food coloring and then the liquid inside glow sticks (that stuff smells, by the way).

I made the book of spells from an old accounting book I bought from 25 cents from Salvation Army. I glued in cool looking spell pages (thanks again, google image search) and then I made that broom from stuff I found outside and wrapped it with twine.

This was a new addition … dry ice. Daniel had to stay on top of that all evening. But it looked super cool. It was pretty easy to get a hold of dry ice – it was at our local grocery store and only cost about $1.50 per pound. We used 5lbs for the evening. The fire is made of sticks glued together, orange twinkly lights, yellow cellophane and red tissue paper. This is another view of the left side of the basement:

And the bookshelf.

This year’s trophies were by far my favorites. I got them at Salvation Army.

 Now for the costume contenders:

Nick & Tara Giordano – popeye and olive oil

Senta & Daniel Hill – zombies

Colleen & Mike Mero – minnie and mickey

Ruth & Andrew Gough – cardinals fans

Ben & Megan Pruett – ninjas

Tiffany & Brad Rice – black eyed peas

Bobby & Leslie Jamieson – Sonny and Cher

Sooooo, funny story. Bobby’s fake lashes were coming off right when he showed up to the party and asked if I knew how to get the fake lashes to stay put. I had some on too and had just gotten new, expensive eyelash glue at Target earlier that day. Unbeknownst to me, I had gotten professional grade eyelash glue. It was supposed to be used on eyelashes that you wnated indefinately on your eyes. The glue was waterproof and very strong. I had no idea when I was gluing those eyelashes to his eyes that they would cause so much trouble soming off. Anyway, I had a terrible time of getting my eyelashes off later that night and looked at the eyelash glue box and realized my mistake. It was painful, but I yanked them off and glue was stuck in my eyelashes and eyeball for days.

Arturo & Mandee Ordaz – hunter and deer

Erin & Shane Dangerfield – Joe Dirt and girlfriend

Ben & Erin Griswold – baby “bump” traffic signs

Daniel & me – King David & Bathsheba

Leslie accepting her award for “Best Costume” while singing “I Got You Babe”

Bobby & Shane ….. right before this picture was taken, I was focusing the camera as they posed this way and right when Bobby thought I was going to take the picture, Bobby turned toward Shane – and it totally freaked him out. It was hilarious. Too bad the camera didn’t take it at that moment.

This is really Ben’s dancing move that he did while playing “Adam’s Family”. The whole room was doing thsi pose, it was super funny.

Lovely ladies – Tiffany and Jackie

With that orange soda in his hands, Nick really looks like a sailor :)

The winners of scariest costume and Bobby and Leslie got funniest and best costume awards.

good times.

 

stuff i forgot to write down

I forgot to mention a few things about Liam and I don’t wnat to forget them – he loves to dress up. Yesterday we went to Goodwill to look for costumes for the boys for Halloween.- and we hit the jackpot! I wasn’t expecting much, but it was awesome! And Liam loved it. He was in heaven. He kept picking out costumes and saying, “THIS is the one I wanted. Let’s buy it”. Two days ago when we were looking online for costumes, mostly to get a good idea of what we should look for, Liam saw an awesome Captain Rex (Star Wars character) outfit. It was $65 and I told Liam it was too expensive and Liam responded, “Wew (well), mommy, then you wiw (will) have to save up ya money and buy it fa (for) me because we need to buy it”. He is so bossy. the heck? This kid.

So, lo and behold, we found a Captain Rex outfit for Liam at Goodwill and he has worn it every moment since then. In fact, I woke up this morning and came into the front room to see both Liam and Noah wearing their Halloween costumes over their jammies and watching cartoons. They are beautiful.

 

immature

Ya know what I feel like screaming sometimes? “I’m way too irresponsible for all this!” and “I don’t want to be awake right now either! So fine, don’t do anything and I’ll go back to bed and no one is going to school today. Who cares?!”

Every morning I get up around 7:30 am (sometimes earlier, like today) and nurse Ray, then around 8 am I go out into the front room, where the other boys are, already awake, and tell them it’s time to get ready for school and take showers. Liam usually falls on the floor. Which was my first response as a kid. He’s stealing my thing. And Noah immediately whines. And I think, “when did I become the responsible parent person? I don’t want to do this either. I’m with my kids. Let’s not do any of this stuff”. And it occurred to me that they will never know that about me. To them – I’m the enforcer, the straight arrow, the one who makes mature choices and handles things others don’t want to … like laundry. But I’m not! And I feel like screaming that at the top of my lungs today.

Maybe it’s because I have a birthday coming up. I am going to be 32 this year. And I feel like I’m getting old. I remember not being at all like what I am today. I was never on time to any. single. event before I was 22 and I broke that record only for my own senior vocal recital. seriously. Ask Daniel. It drove him crazy that I was always late. Growing up I never cleaned my room or made my bed. My parents were disgusted, but not surprised, to find a moldy plate of food under my bed once when I was a teenager. And I don’t think I attended the  majority of my classes until my sophomore year in college. I didn’t eat well or watch my weight, I never exercised, I stayed up too late and slept in every morning, I didn’t hold a steady job until I was married, and I never wore cardigans. I don’t wear them. The only reason I’m wearing one today is because I haven’t done laundry and all the sweatshirts I fit into have baby throw up on them. The rest of my sweatshirts are too small right now, because I’m chubby. I wore jeans, t shirts, a pair of Vans and a sweatshirt, almost everywhere. I remember hating the fact that I had to wear a skirt on Sunday to church because I didn’t want to shave my legs, so I found a long, black skirt that I wore all the time because it hid my hairy, unshaven legs in college.

I never knew how to cook and didn’t care. I never threw parties for others – I attended them. I never decorated my house or apartment until I bought a house with Daniel about 5 years ago.

Some of my favorite memories are from times when I was the most irresponsible – staying up all night playing “mow” with my roommates and Daniel in college, driving to Santa Cruz with Mike and Liz one Saturday with no plans – then ending up at KFC and laughing our bums off (I lost my wallet that trip. good times), stopping by Ben’s house to chat at any hour of the day or night, going snowboarding my freshman year in college and blowing half my allotted money for two weeks in one day, piling as many humans as we could into the back of somebody’s pick up truck and heading out to the dollar theatre in Provo, Saturday mornings with Daniel that year we lived it up in Orem …. ah. It all seems like a distant past now.

Now I have a schedule … a routine. ugh. terrible words. I have a certain amount of time allotted to me each day to get what I need to get done and I use it to do laundry and dishes and clean up around my house. What the heck happened? When did I pop out three kids?? When did they start going to school? How did I get responsible enough to even sign them up for school? …. I should probably wear my responsibility and orderly-ness (not a word) as a badge of honor. But I don’t. Not today anyway. It just makes me feel old.

Well, that laundry is still calling my name. I guess procrastination doesn’t make things disappear.

Liam, age 4 1/2

This kid. So beautiful …. and so complicated. sheesh. I was just taking a shower
(yeah, it’s 3:30  in the afternoon) and I’ve had a hard time getting up the gumption to get needful things done today, like laundry and cleaning up after my Halloween party …. so I’m trying to decompress in the shower and Liam waltzes in and this is the conversation that ensues:

Liam: Mommy, when can I have my Captain Rex gun and Captain Rex helmet?

Me: On Halloween. I don’t want you to lose or break them before Halloween. Then you can play with them whenever you want after Halloween, k? (By the way – we’ve had this exact same conversation about 45 times since I bought this part of his Halloween costume on Saturday)

Liam: (whining and falling on the ground as he says this) nooooooo. I want it.

Me: Well guess what Liam? I have some good news.

Liam: (still whining) Why do I have to do everything??!

Me: what are you talking about?

Liam: Why do I have to do everything?! (louder this time)

Me: OK, I don’t know what you mean, but you can wear your Captain Rex stuff this Saturday, before Halloween at the trunk or treat at the church. Isn’t that fun?

Liam: no. I want it.

Me: OK, fine. It’s not fun, get out while I shower.

The other day I snapped some shots of him because I haven’t for a while. He’s so beautiful. Recently he has really good days and really bad days and hardly any in betweens. But here are his favorites: he loves peanut butter and honey sandwiches, playing with his lego star wars guys and he recently made a best friend at preschool. His name is Lucas. Liam is very reserved in public and needs lots of love, pretty much all the time. He LOVES Ray. I think more than anyone in the house … maybe he even surpasses me. Liam notices Ray and talks to him and … sniffs his little hands all the time. He sniffs Ray’s feet too. I ask him what Ray smells like and Liam says, “baby”.

When Liam is having a good day – he is the best helper. He will say things like, “Mommy, I will do everything that you say today!” He also will give spontaneous love – squeezes and kisses and snuggles. He loves to nap and sleep (just like his daddy). At bedtime he falls asleep almost as soon as his head hits the pillows most nights. He will often times tell Noah, “Be quiet! I’m going to sleep, Noah”.

I would say more, but Ray is crying and I have to pick up Noah. Here are Liam’s pictures:

This is such a Daniel face … rubbing his eyes the same as Daniel and looking at me with those eyes saying, “stop taking my picture”. So Daniel.